Welcome to My Website
This is just a personal site to give you a bit of an idea of who I am and what I do
March 2019
A Woman of Diversity Passionate About Improving the Wellbeing of Life on Earth
October 2022
My identities
Identities are to me, a shortcut for telling a short story about my experiences and perspective. A way to find and connect with people of shared experience and perspective. My tribe.
Trans Woman
The easiest way to have others relate to me in a way that matched my internal sense of gender was to change my outward expression of gender. Now I’m treated more as a woman and can express myself as a woman and am much happier. Wikipedia
Bisexual
I’m attracted to any gender, but find it easier to form a deeper heart connection with those expressing more feminine traits. What really attracts me is people with high drive and capacity to make a positive difference in my passion areas. Wikipedia
Sex Worker
I think being a sex worker gives you a perspective that only other sex workers can relate to. An insight into aspects of human nature, intimate behaviours and stigma. Although not currently active, I feel I will always carry this perspective so maintain this identity. Wikipedia
Relationship Anarchist
I believe healthier relationships can be negotiated outside society’s premade relationship categories, which come with restrictive assumptions and expectations such as valuing romantic/sexual relationships above others. Wikipedia
Polyamorous
My style of polyamory is ethical, non-hierarchical and practised with relationship anarchy. Wikipedia
Humanist
Humanism is a philosophy I relate strongly to and I almost consider it my parent philosophy leading to atheism. It embraces the scientific method for understanding the world and that we have evolved as social beings. As such, we are mostly naturally moral and find meaning and happiness when connecting with other humans and working to benefit society. The Amsterdam Declaration
Domestic Violence Survivor
Having lived through a psychologically abusive relationship that eroded my self-worth and, on the discovery, destroyed my sense of reality and belief in the innate good in all people, I can never see the world the same again. Survivors often say only another survivor can truly understand this. My current goal in this area is post-traumatic growth. Wikipedia
Services I offer in line with my values and hopefully yours too
Ethical Web Development
Great value websites to help you make the world a better place
Counselling and Psychotherapy
Driven by affective empathy and a strong desire to reduce suffering, I have qualified as a counsellor with a growing specialisation in LGBTIA+ (Sex, Gender and Sexuality Affirming), Narcissistic Abuse (and other Pathological Relationships), Loneliness (Meaning, Belonging and Intimacy), Couples Therapy (using The Gottman Method) and Polyamory (& other Ethical Non-monogamies). This also comes from lived experience in bisexuality, gender transition, polyamory, sex work, trauma and emotional abuse.
Projects which feed my drive for purpose and meaning
The areas that inspire me most are Human Connection, our Biosphere, Ending unnecessary Suffering, Diversity and Science. I’m also a problem solver at heart so when I see something that challenges or gets in the way of the well-being of life on earth, I want to solve it. Below is what I’ve either got on the go at the moment or coming up soon.
Global Wellbeing
Culture, including technology, has improved our well-being immensely over the past 100,000 years, but well-being still lags well behind our societal capacity for most people. Most people should be better off and happier than they are. How about a new evidence-based system, growing within but not challenging current systems until it performs better than existing systems? Adoption of new systems will mean letting go of some of the beliefs that keeps our thinking rigid, maintaining inefficient systems that leave so many behind and thankfully we already have some tools that will support this process.
Human Diversity
Over an evolutionary period of competing for scarce resources, we have developed an innate bias to discriminate and fear those from other groups. This has left human diversity undervalued and under-utilised in a time when resources needed for our survival are not so scarce. Just as we learn to increase our value for non-violent solutions to conflict, we can also learn to increase our value for human diversity by recognising the value diversity brings.